How are you guys doing during the Coronavirus Pandemic so far? To be honest, it hasn’t been too tough over here. I mean sure my anxiety has been pretty rampant and I’ve cried for other people knowing they have it much worse. But the biggest difference I’ve seen between quarantine (social distancing) life and normal life is that we have to be more intentional than ever about our marriage relationship!
Don’t get me wrong, our marriage should always be our most important relationship. And we should always be intentional about it. But it’s just little more obvious when we neglect it these days, you know?
So I’ve come up with some DOs and DON’Ts for your marriage during this time.
Table of Contents
DOs and DON’Ts for your Marriage during the COVID-19 Pandemic
DON’T: neglect your marriage.
Even though some other aspects of your life might be on hold right now, your marriage still needs work. So maybe you aren’t driving to work anymore. And maybe you don’t need to get dressed every day or shower as often as usual. But that doesn’t give you license to just forget about your marriage too.
DO: kiss and hug each other often
Kiss each other when you wake up, before you go to sleep, whenever you have a break throughout the day etc. When Pearson was working outside of the home and I was seeing clients and running errands all day, we’d always greet each other with a hug and a kiss when we were finally reunited at the end of the day. It was my favorite.
Now that we’re together all the time, those natural opportunities to be affectionate have disappeared. So those hugs and kisses have to be more intentional.
DON’T: assume “every night is date night”
Yes you’re spending all day every day together. But that doesn’t mean you can skip date night. It’s still important to be intentional about dating each other. A date is different regular life because you set aside intentional time to focus on each other. You plan and schedule an activity. Then you keep that date no matter what. You and your spouse still need to know your marriage is important.
Wait till the kids go to bed or set them up with an activity in the other room. Order your favorite take out or cook a favorite meal together. Then play a board game or a video game. Or turn on some music and have a dance party. Watch your wedding video and remember how you felt back then. It doesn’t matter what you do as long as you focus on each other!
DO: celebrate stuff
Just because you’re stuck at home doesn’t mean you can’t celebrate. Celebrate birthdays, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Anniversaries, Earth Day, Cinco de Mayo, Memorial Day, Pretzel Day, beating a level in your video game, actually putting on real pants, scoring some coveted toilet paper at the store. The possibilities are endless.
Find little ways to celebrate and stay safe at the same time. Use leftover decorations or print some from the internet. Get your spouse’s favorite candy or a bouquet of flowers with your grocery order. Turn on some music and dance your hearts out.
DON’T: neglect your own separate hobbies
During this time of quarantine and social distancing, we’re spending a lot of time with the people we live with. It’s always important to keep your sense of self in any relationship, but it’s especially important when it’s not very easy to spend a lot of time apart.
Make sure you’re getting time to yourself and you’re not neglecting your own hobbies. Maybe go in another room to read or go for a walk by yourself. Whatever it is, be sure to remind your partner that you still love them but you just need some alone time to take care of yourself and encourage them to do the same.
DO: connect every day
As I’ve said in basically every point so far, a lot of us are together with our spouse all day. But we can still make a point to connect intentionally at the end of the day. Pearson and I try to do that when we’ve been apart all day and it’s just a little more difficult now that we spend all day together.
But there are still things to talk about. You can ask things like what worked today and what didn’t? What can I do to make your quarantine time better?
DON’T: interrupt each other’s work
We’re all struggling with new work situations right now. It’s often hard to stay focused and do what we need to do when we’re home with our families and away from our coworkers. As a partner we should be doing all we can to make that easier for each other. Have a conversation communicating your expectations. Talk about the time and space boundaries you need to get your work done and then respect those boundaries for each other.
DO: have couple check-ins
I’ve talked about having regular couple check-ins on the blog several times. It’s kind of like connecting at the end of each day (from a couple points ago) but this is a longer version. You basically sit down once a week or a couple times a month and talk about the state of your marriage. You can sign up for my newsletter below and get a free cheat sheet to use on your next check-in.
DON’T: neglect your share of the housework
As with most of these DOs and DON’Ts, this is something you should be doing all the time. But at a time like this when everybody is always home and making a mess of your living space, it’s as important as ever. Maybe now that your responsibilities have changed so much in this weird time, it’s time to reevaluate your household responsibilities. The important thing here is that you communicate your expectations and that everybody feels they’re bearing only their fair share of the burden.
DO: find a change of scenery
A lot of us may be thinking that there aren’t many places we can go right now. Which is true, to an extent. But if you’re able, getting out of the house every once in a while is essential for your mental health. And doing so with your spouse is even better. Go for a long walk together and talk about everything under the sun. Or go for a drive without a destination in mind. Enjoy the flowers and trees waking up for spring! Changing your scenery could even be as simple as eating dinner on your porch or patio instead of at your dinner table.
DON’T: sit in silence
I think a lot of couples are struggling with what to talk about right now. Since you’re together all day, it’s kinda hard to tell each other stories about your coworkers or how much fun you had on girls night. Instead, talk about your dreams of the future together or look at old Facebook photos and reminisce on the past. Or find a list of conversation starters and go crazy!
Conclusion
Basically these are some important tips that you should be doing in your marriage all the time. But they have stuck out to me recently with the weird times we’ve experienced here lately. Here’s to continuing to work on our marriage even through a pandemic!
Are you struggling with a different routine in your marriage lately? What are some other things you would add to my list?
Thanks for reading!
I’ve been single since 2011, plus I live alone. I can’t remember sharing my space or my life with someone so intimately. And if I would have to do so again, there will definitely be do’s and don’ts! Haha.
haha well here’s to setting boundaries around our home!
It’s been an interesting time here in our home. I’m trying to show as much grace as I can, but it’s been a roller coaster.
I’m sorry it’s been a roller coaster. I think a lot of people are in the same boat. We’ve got this!
These are great tips! I’m not married, but these are good things to keep in mind with my boyfriend while we’re trapped in our house.
Yes! Absolutely! Most of these can be applied to any relationship!
Nice!! This is very important. This pandemic is testing everyone! relationships, families, friends, the world. My goodness!
Yes it certainly is!
Great Charlene Maugeri, it is an important issue of this time including other issues, Peoples in my region still strongly believes in “Shubh Lagan”, “Janam Kundli”, many peoples are double minded that what can to do?
I love the part where it says don’t expect every night to be date night. Haha. Its so true!
Right? Just because you’re spending time together doesn’t mean it’s a date.
What a wonder lists of dos and don’ts about married couples, as well cpuples in general, and what shold do these times. I hope couples are inspired from this post.
Thank you so much!
This is a great list, we both previously worked from home for over 7 years now and I can completely agree not interrupting ones work is a BIG one….LOL, That was a hard one to get used too for sure.
this is definitely a fantastic list. We have been doing weekly car date nights together
That’s awesome you’re getting a change of scenery that way too!
I’m glad you agree with that one!
These dos and don’ts are just awesome. We should make an effort to make the marriage work.
Yes! Exactly. And thank you!
What we all need at this time is to value who we are and appreciate people around. It is very insightful look into family life and I liked your writing style.
Thank you for that compliment!
Finding a change of scenery is so important…FOR ME. My husband is still working, so he’s out and about daily. I’ve been stuck/safe at home for the past five weeks. I want to go anywhere so that I can see something else. I need to send him this post 🙂
Oh no! I’m so sorry you feel stuck. Yes a change of scenery is a must!
This makes so much sense. Sometimes we are kinder to those outside of our household including spouses.
This is so true!
Maam i must admit that you your husband look good together, thanks for this tips have provided for the quarantine period. I am not married, but hope to soon
Thank you!
Yes, I love this advice! I’m a big fan of doing things such as a personal hobby alone or taking time to yourself. I’m a true introvert so alone time is my own personal time to recharge especially during a time like the present!
-Madi xo | http://www.everydaywithmadirae.com
I’m a true introvert too. So I’m struggling less with staying away from other people right now and more with spending all my time with my family. haha
wonderful post girl, such great tips! thanks for sharing this! have a good weeek
Thank you! You have a good week too!
I love all these dos and don’ts. We need all this to stay sane. I’ll be using a lot of this ideas. Thanks such a great post!
This is what we need during this time. Alot of marriages are suffering todays and this will help absolutely.
This has been an interesting time for all of us – I feel we’ve done really well with the transition of having my husband home more often during the day. We’ve been enjoying landscaping the backyard together, so it helps to have to mutual goal and lots of work to do!
Stuck at home or not these are good tips for keeping your marriage fresh and healthy!
Good to know that works too! I learn so much from you as well! Keep it up great post.
I am single but this really looks some amazing tips. I am sharing with my few friends
This is a great list of things to remember. I know I personally was neglecting my hobbies and that was making me more sad and anxious than I realized.
These are a nice set of dos and don’ts for couples, but not just for married, I guess much of them can be applicable for non-married couples too.
These are some great tips, thanks for sharing!
Lucky for those couple who stays together pre and post pandemic. I could imagine it would be a disaster if you are with someone you don’t want to be with.
You have shared some great pointers. we try to take walks together daily as its a great way to share whats on our minds.
Rightly said. It is important to keep things the way they were before. The more we take things for granted right now, the more trouble we will have fixing it later.
That is so true! Taking things (and people) for granted is so easy to do!