Hey guys! I have a special treat for you today! Teresa from CraftyWife.com and I have swapped blogs for the day. She’s got a great post for you below about making your husband a priority after having kids. Once you’re finished reading this post, head over to Teresa’s blog to read my post of 5 things you can do right now to improve your marriage.
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Hello! I’m Teresa and I call the Crafty Wife blog my home away from home. It’s my happy place where I can connect with old and new friends, share crafting adventures, photography tutorials, and Disney World vacation tips. When I’m not blogging you can usually find me laying on the couch, exhausted from keeping my eight week old alive for yet another day. He is our pride and joy, and we are so blessed and thankful to have him complete our little family.

I am so excited to be here today to share my thoughts on making your husband a priority after having a baby. Thank you so much Charlene for letting me take over your blog today!

My husband Chris and I tried for a year and a half to have a baby. When we finally found out we were pregnant we were overjoyed and shocked. It had been a long time coming and we were finally going to be a family of three! We couldn’t have been happier.

Throughout the pregnancy my husband would make little comments that always centered around me forgetting about him once the baby arrived. At first I just laughed it off because I honestly thought he was joking, which is something we tend to do a lot so it’s hard to tell if the other is being serious half the time. But there was one night where we were talking before bed and he said it again. Something finally clicked in my head and I realized it was a legitimate fear for him. We know a lot of couples where the wife forgets about the husband as soon as a baby comes in to the picture, and Chris was afraid of that happening to us. At that moment I promised myself that our marriage would not be put on the back burner. And since then I’ve made these conscious efforts to make sure my husband knows just how important he is to me.

1. Involve him in all the daily “kid” tasks

Whether it’s changing a diaper, pumping so he can feed our son a bottle, or getting him involved in tummy time I always make sure that Chris gets quality time with the baby. While having him do all those things don’t seem like that big of a deal, I’ve found that it’s really helped him connect and bond with our son. It also gives me a little break and then I can sit next to them and watch all the sweet interactions take place. It’s my favorite part of the day.

2. Give words of affirmation

If you’ve read the Five Love Languages book then you know that words of affirmation is one way to show your partner you love them. While Chris and I have never taken the quiz ourselves to find out our language, I use this one a lot. I mean, who doesn’t want to hear how much you love and appreciate all that they are doing? And with a new baby who loves to party all night long and not give his parents a lot of sleep, words of affirmation are incredibly important. It’s so easy to fall into a pattern of snarkiness and plain rudeness when you’re exhausted (which I tend to do) so voicing my appreciation is a constant work in progress for me.

3. Focus on them

When Chris gets home in the evening we spend time as a family, eat dinner, and then put the baby down. Once it’s just the two of us, it’s time for us to focus on each other. Usually that just means talking about our days, but sometimes focusing on them can mean giving them time to do something they haven’t had a chance to do in a while. My husband loves to play video games and while he doesn’t play them as often as he used to, I still make sure he gets uninterrupted game time every-so-often. And because I still want to be around him I’ll usually bring my computer in the room with me and blog while I watch him play.

Focusing on them doesn’t mean that you need to have deep and meaningful conversations every night. Sometimes it can be as simple as giving them a chance to unwind from a long day doing whatever it is they like to do.

While I am definitely not perfect and have been known to snap at my husband in my zombie-like state, I do make a conscious effort to make sure he knows he is a priority. Our son is the biggest blessing of our lives and we are so thankful for him, but he is just one part of our family. At the end of the day our marriage should come first, because without a strong connection and commitment to each other we cannot be the partners or parents we want (and should) be.

What were some marital fears you had before having your first child? What did you do to overcome them?