*I received a hardback copy of “The Go-Giver Marriage: A Little Story About the 5 Secrets to Lasting Love” free in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.

I’ve been blogging since 2012. And I’ve been blogging and creating content online specifically and consistently about marriage since 2014. That’s 8 years. In those 8 years, I’ve changed a lot. I’ve deconstructed a lot of my beliefs about lot’s of things, but especially marriage. There are several marriage books out there that I used to agree with but now I think what they preach is pretty toxic (like this one that I reviewed back in 2017).

I say all this to say I’ve been pretty skeptical of marriage related “self-help” books lately. But when the marketing director for this one reached out to me with a media kit, I thought it actually looked pretty solid so I took her up on her offer. And I have to admit I was pleasantly surprised with The Go-Giver Marriage: A Little Story About the 5 Secrets to Lasting Love.

The 5 Secrets

So first of all, I couldn’t agree more with the 5 secrets. The following descriptions come directly from the book:

1. Appreciate: Look for specific things about your partner that you love, and when you notice them, take a moment to tell them.
2. Attend: Convey your love through some meaningful, tangible action. Pay attention. Notice what your partner needs, wants, and loves, then give them that.
3. Allow: Take responsibility for the energy your bring to the relationship. Accept your partner for who they are, the way they are. Be their save harbor. Have a generous spirit. Be kind.
4. Believe: Believe in your partner wholeheartedly, Give them your complete, unshakable trust. Let your faith show.
5. Grow: Every day, identify what you need to be happy, healthy, and fulfilled – and then give yourself that. Dare to dream a bigger dream for yourself.

I love that the first four secrets are about your partner. You appreciate, attend, allow, and believe in your spouse. These things can be simple but they’re things that we don’t always think about and we especially don’t communicate them to our partner. But the fifth secret is all about us. We have to be happy and to grow in order for our marriage to be happy.

The Parable

I love how The Go-Giver Marriage is split up into two main sections. In the first part, “The Parable,” they introduce the 5 secrets with a cute little engaging story that made me feel almost like a was reading a novel rather than a non-fiction book about marriage. I actually took the most notes and wrote down the most quotes from this section.

The story follows a couple as they spend a day apart and they each learn about the five secrets. The husband, Tom, has a big job interview with the COO of his company. Said COO shares a fable about a newlywed couple and their magical tree. The wife, Tess, gets “kidnapped” by an acquaintance and spends the day with a group of women who are working on something called the “Marriage Project.” Here she learns about the five secrets through each of the women’s stories.

It might sound a little cheese but aren’t all parables cheesy? I really felt engaged with Tom and Tess’s story. I won’t tell you the ending.

The Practice

The second part is called “The Practice.” Here they break down each secret into 3 sections: Why it works, what it looks like, and your daily practice.

Here is how the book describes each of those sections:

• Why It Works: A brief explanation of some of the concepts underlying each secret, in terms of our childhood development and maturation.
• What It Looks Like: A picture of how this secret actually plays out in our day-to-day lives and behavior, with a few examples from the lives of friends and clients we’ve known.
• Your Daily Practice: A simple formula for how to put each of the 5 Secrets into practice every day.

I love how they break down these chapters into these chunks that are easy to follow and to swallow. The examples they give are very practical and relatable!

Conclusion

As I said before, I really liked The Go-Giver Marriage: A Little Story About the 5 Secrets to Lasting Love (Amazon affiliate link). There was nothing I didn’t agree with. I don’t remember the last time I actually took notes while reading a book but I did for this one. I’m so glad I now own a hard copy because I plan to revisit the five secrets over and over!

Do you think this book would benefit your marriage? Have you been practicing the five secrets in your relationship?

Thanks for reading!